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Monsignor speaks frankly... with his cats... Shadow... Mr Thirsty... Sophia... and Lawrence |
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The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am
very sorry about this. Do not expect me to continue sleeping on the couch
to ensure your comfort. Cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from
the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell one another’s butt. I cannot stress this enough!
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My
Dear Cats:
The
stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to
the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t
help because I fall faster than you can run.
necessary
to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent
possible. (I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues
hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.)
manage
to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, meow, and try to turn
the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I
must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the
bathroom for years -- feline attendance is not required.