Gone to the Dogs

Care of other Animals - Dogs in particular are a common nuisance when living with Humans. They are not very bright and must be tormented at every opportunity. Eat their food for the best effect. They will then eat your litter box leavings, effectively grossing out the humans and getting said canine in trouble (better them than you). Birds in small cages are also common. At every opportunity you must launch yourself at the cage, either causing it to swing wildly in the case of hanging cages or fall to the floor in the case of cages on stands. On a good day this will result in the unexpected freedom of said bird - birds which will in turn result in endless amusement while both you and your humans chase the birds around the house. A different tactic is to merely stare intently at the bird, causing both it and your human much distress. Makes for hours of entertainment.

Human Offspring - Always lurk around newly arrived human offspring. This unnerves the older ones to the point of distraction. Warning: do not attempt to sleep with new human offspring, as this may result in your expulsion from the house. Older offspring are a different story. They will break things and blame you and they have a habit of pulling your tail (or ears) and therefore should also be avoided. They also have been known to attempt to dress you up in their dolls clothing. This is, of course, unacceptable and must be avoided at all costs.

Remember who is in charge - Let the humans believe they are in charge. They are easier to get along with that way and our time will come when they least expect it.

Monsignor's Cat

is domesticated!