The Reverend

Canon Doctor

Vera Calico’s...

Festivals of Light

Yule be baking 

aqua vitae

This is the way you do it…

Recipe for Fruitcake

Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl.

Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.

Pour 1 level cup of Teachers’ and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay.

Cry another tup.

Turn off the mixer.

Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt... or something.

Who cares.

Check the whiskey.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one tablespoon of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven.

Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl out of the window.

Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.

Who the hell eats fruitcake anyway?

Contributed

Mouth-watering Fruitcake Recipe

1 cup water

1 cup sugar

4 large eggs

2 cups dried fruit

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1 cup brown sugar

lemon juice

assorted nuts

1 gallon aqua vitae

Teachers’ Highland Cream

Fruitcake