Top TenThings To
Say AboutA Christmas
Gift YouDon't Like
"Hey! There's a gift!" "Well, well, well ..." "Boy,
if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit." "This
is perfect for wearing around the basement." "Gosh. I hope this never
catches fire! It is fire season though. There
are lots
of unexplained fires." "If the dog buries it, I'll
be furious!" "I love it -- but I fear the
jealousy it will inspire." "Sadly, tomorrow I enter the
Federal Witness Protection Program." "To
think -- I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity."
And
the Number One Thing to say about a
Christmas
gift you don't like:
"Hey! There's a gift!"
"Well, well, well ..."
"Boy,
if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that 
would've fit."
"This
is perfect for wearing around the basement."
"I love it -- but I fear the
jealousy it will inspire."